Sincerely, Verus
by fnur
Summary: Written for Round 3 of Prompts in Panem. Visual Prompt: the pearl Peeta gives Katniss on the beach. It meant the world to Katniss, but it meant so much to a stranger, as well.


Dear Katniss and Peeta,

I hope it's all right for me to address you by your first names. You do not know me but I, like everyone else in Panem, feel as if I know you. My name is Verus, and I am returning something that belongs to you.

Almost seven years ago, I was a citizen of the Capitol. My life was good, by all measure - I was seventeen, had a mother and father and younger brother who loved me very much, many friends at school and a promising future in government as a trainee in the Gamemaker program. Only one new trainee was invited to the program each year, and my excellent grades, family name and a generous donation to President Snow's coffers ensured that I would be the one that year.

I would be interning under new Head Gamemaker Plutarch Heavensbee. To be learning under a new Gamemaker and during a Quarter Quell was an immense honor for me, and my family was so proud. My little brother Aelius had both of your posters on his wall, and asked me to get your autographs.

All of our lives, we had grown up idolizing our favorite Victors. Finnick Odair was my favorite, until the 74th Games, of course. The way you both looked after each other, and how you fell in love before our eyes... I wonder if you knew then, the effect you'd have.

Sometimes in my room at home when I was growing up, I used to imagine what it would be alike to be in the arena - the exciting battles! The glory of victory! To bask in the fame of being a Victor! I'm ashamed to say it had never occurred to me before my training how hard it must have been to watch your fellow tributes die, to take another life, and to be reminded of it for the rest of your life. And I realized that you had to face it again, and that after these Games there would only be one Victor remaining.

The first time I saw you both, real and in the flesh as opposed to on a screen or a stage, was in the group training sessions. I was allowed to observe with the Gamemakers during these sessions, and I could not have been more excited. And now, you were here in front of us, preparing for the honor of another arena. I thought you would all be so proud to be there, representing your districts and entertaining the citizens of Panem again. How wrong I was.

At the time, you were both seventeen - the same age as me. I saw you both in your matching training uniforms and realized how small and human and vulnerable you were. How scared you looked, even when you were trying to look brave in front of the other Victors. It's okay - they were trying to look brave as well. But it only took a split second, when they thought no one was looking, for the mask to slip and the fear to show through.

I thought at first that perhaps everyone was hiding their true strengths during the group sessions and would show off in the private sessions with the Gamemakers. Instead, the opposite seemed true. It turns out that everyone was just hiding their frustration with the Games, and used the private sessions as their opportunity to speak out. I'm not sure if you know what the other Victors did during their sessions. Beetee rigged a small device that short-circuited the overhead lights. Finnick broke every trident in the training center in half. Mags took a nap. Joanna sat in the middle of the floor and picked at her nails. Chaff balanced dumbbells on the stump at the end of his arm. Peeta, your picture of Rue made a Gamemaker cry, but I don't know if it was for the right reasons.

On the night of the interviews, I watched from the control room and saw the director make the decision to cut the live feed. But it was too late - after a lifetime of believing that the Hunger Games were a national honor, I now found myself wanting nothing more than for them to end.

The citizens of the Capitol were angry and gathering in protest in the streets for the first time in the history of Panem. The director sent me to find Mr. Heavensbee from the Head Gamemaker office, and ensure that the Peacekeeper security detail was in place around him for protection. When I got to his office, I overheard Mr. Heavensbee sending an audio transmission to someone named "Coin" that confirmed the plan to rescue the Mockingjay from the arena.

What I overheard Mr. Heavensbee say was tantamount to treason. I didn't know at the time who "Coin" was, but I knew that a plan to rescue Ms. Everdeen from the arena was not in the plans for the Quarter Quell. Part of me, the part that had a Finnick Odair poster in my room for years and who always bet on our favorite tributes, wanted to find the nearest Peacekeeper and report Mr. Heavensbee for rebellious activities. It was something that we learned the first day of training - to immediately report any suspicious activities, whether it was done by a tribute or an employee.

The other part of me couldn't do that. It was the part of me that realized that a tribute was just a person like me, and that the Games were really just an excuse for the government to murder its citizens every year. And once I realized that, it felt as if the entire world and everything I knew about it had fallen apart. I didn't want anyone to die. So I waited until Mr. Heavensbee had finished his transmission to ensure that he was not interrupted by Peacekeepers, then returned to the control room.

During the Games, I did not see much of Mr. Heavensbee. We were told that he was monitoring most of the Games from his private office, and I wondered if that was an excuse for him to send more transmissions or make more rebellious plans. I hoped that it was, and that the Games would end soon. Every time a tribute died, I found myself crying over the loss of life - something I had never done in any previous Games because I never realized the finality and cruelty of a life lost. When the others in the control room teased me about it, it was because they assumed my tears were from lost bets. I let them believe it. But I saw some of them cry, too. When Peeta gave Katniss a pearl on the beach, I wondered if either of you would survive and be able to keep it. At that moment, I hoped that by some miracle, you would both survive again.

When the forcefield was brought down, all of the cameras were momentarily shut off as well. But they came back on after 60 seconds - just long enough for the District 13 hovercraft to rescue the first three. By the time the hovercraft located Mr. Mellark and Ms. Mason, the Capitol hovercrafts were closing in, and the rebels had to leave. The control room was locked down - no one allowed in or out. An hour later, President Snow arrived with a few dozen Peacemakers. The Gamemakers and control room employees were gathered up for interrogation and, as I later learned, execution. As a trainee, it was assumed that I had no information to give. How ironic it is that if they had not cut out my tongue, I probably would have broken easily under my fear and told them everything.

For eight months, I worked underground in deplorable conditions with other Avoxes while war raged over our heads. By the time I heard the voices of the infamous rebel victors echoing through the sewers, I thought I was hallucinating. But I recognized the voices of the two most famous and wanted people in Panem, and came just in time to see Katniss kiss Peeta and ask him to stay with her. I wanted to help you escape, but there was nothing I could do. Instead, I watched you and the others escape and hoped that you would survive, and that there would be something left after the war worth living for.

Two days later, fire from above seemed to fill the sky, and all we could do underground was watch. The workers gathered in the central outtake beneath President Snow's mansion and watched blood pour down the sewer grates as we watched people die. Some people were rebels, and some were citizens. Some were soldiers and Peacekeepers, and some were children. It didn't matter, because everyone's blood was the same. Then I heard Katniss's voice ring out, shouting for her sister, just like Reaping Day almost two years before. Seconds later, a bigger explosion that made everything go quiet. Then everything started to rain down on us - bricks and dirt and blood and body parts.

We kept cleaning the sewers - it was all we could do to help. It was more than blood coming in the sewer grates now - it was teeth and clothing and shoes with feet still in them. There was a child's doll and melted parachutes and finally, a small pearl. I almost missed it, covered in blood and blackened remains. But something about it caught my attention, so I grabbed it and cleaned it off as well as I could until I recognized what it was.

There are certainly smarter people than I am who could figure out the odds of that pearl dropping down into my hands, but I do know that I was very, very lucky to find it. I held onto it because it gave me hope. I remembered that my wish had come true - you both survived the arena. News spread quickly, and I learned that you had both survived the war as well, although there were rumors that you were both mentally unstable. If it's true, I couldn't really blame you. No one could survive what you both have and keep their sanity in tact.

When the new government took over and released Avoxes from indentured servitude, it didn't provide any place for us to go or any way to provide for ourselves. I tried to return to my old home, only to find it deserted. My family was gone and presumed dead. I had no food, no money, and no future. But I had the pearl, and it was enough to keep me going.

On nights when I was too exhausted and hungry to even cry, I would take the pearl out of my pocket and hold on to it. It reminded me that there are people in this country who are willing to stand up for others, and to keep fighting even when the odds are against them. And that gave me the strength to make it through another day.

After Ms. Everdeen's trial was finished, President Paylor quickly enlisted workers to help rebuild Panem. I was with other Avoxes that were able to get work clearing debris and building homes. I was able to take care of myself and do what some of the rebels called "an honest day's work". I'm now part of the construction crews that visit various districts, bringing Capitol resources to rebuild Panem. I'm but one member of a large team, and what I do is by no means heroic or brave, but for the first time in my life, I am proud of myself.

The other day, I caught a glimpse of a news broadcast that reported the rumors of your marriage in District 12. I don't watch much television these days, and I've learned that what's fed to me by the news isn't always the truth. But I hope that you two have found happiness and privacy - not as Victors or rebels or war heroes, but as two people who, like all of Panem, have suffered more than they should have and are trying to find their way together now.

I've enclosed the pearl in this envelope. It brought me hope when I had none, but I don't need it to go on anymore. I have a simple life that's not much but it's all mine, and it's real. I hope this pearl brings you happiness, and represents hope for you both.

Sincerely,

Verus


End file.
